I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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