took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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