I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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