The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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