Kiss
Puke
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
