I think im going to throw up on grandma
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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