How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
