I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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