Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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