I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
