Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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