like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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