everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
