You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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