A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
pop tarts are not kleenex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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