So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
