I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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