Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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