Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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