He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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