last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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