I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
