is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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