Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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