Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
