fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize