I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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