Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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