Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
