I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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