she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
