i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
