I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
only if we run a train.
done.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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