I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
