Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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