"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
