I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
