Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
