I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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