im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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