I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
