it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
