I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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