so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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