And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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