It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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