I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
