Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up