Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
did i walk over a car last night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
