Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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