at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
