I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
