...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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