try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
