see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
