The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
