If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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