:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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